We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
