what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
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