We're like a lot better than the average bears
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
