Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
19 Groupies Confess What It’s Really Like To Hook Up With Famous Rockstars
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?