FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together