i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling