I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I can text with my tongue
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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