theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Pooping to opera.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
