Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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