This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
