she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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