Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
