I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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