He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
