If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize