I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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