4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
