we have pet lesbian snakes
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Randomize
