There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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