remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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