Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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