May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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