The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
