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• (816): View more from Missouri

  I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.

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• (951): View more from California

  ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.

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• (813): View more from Florida

  he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up

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• (347): View more from New York

  We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.

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• (505): View more from New Mexico

  TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES

  (1-505): View more from New Mexico

  This is going everywhere on the internet.

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business

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• (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once

  (1-978): View more from Massachusetts

  Good point.

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.

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