I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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