I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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