Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
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I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
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