somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
