drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
