I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize