WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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