It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
