Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
