so explain again why im purple
no
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
