when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
