i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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