he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize