can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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