dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
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Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
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Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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