Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
