Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
His nipple licking is glorious
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