the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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