just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
