I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
