Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
