Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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