Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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