apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
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