how do flat chested girls get laid?
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
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