Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
