when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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