You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I think I am morally bankrupt
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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