Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Randomize
