i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
he fucked my hip out of place.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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