I faked an abortion last night.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
