He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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