You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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