I'm gonna have a badass scar
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
