you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize