my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.