I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?