Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
Well my cheeks are red now
I puked a lego.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.