Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like. http://tfl.nu/89fc
  Replies (40) Good night (634) Bad night (4242)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.

  (1-813): View more from Florida

  Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (813): I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type. (1-813): Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type. http://tfl.nu/055q
  Replies (90) Good night (8178) Bad night (1821)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...

  (1-816): View more from Missouri

  Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.

  (816): View more from Missouri

  that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (816): dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock... (1-816): Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings. (816): that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it. http://tfl.nu/66g0
  Replies (35) Good night (12710) Bad night (1673)
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (530): I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon. http://tfl.nu/vb88
  Replies (13) Good night (5302) Bad night (1267)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls http://tfl.nu/m4sw
  Replies (22) Good night (925) Bad night (3968)
• Favorite

  (563): View more from Iowa

  I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (563): I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson. http://tfl.nu/yssr
  Replies (9) Good night (1632) Bad night (2762)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (708): did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement" http://tfl.nu/nqth
  Replies (3) Good night (2007) Bad night (1291)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.

  (614): View more from Ohio

  My vagina agrees.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again. (614): My vagina agrees. http://tfl.nu/ii41
  Replies (20) Good night (6385) Bad night (1001)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises http://tfl.nu/9m7h
  Replies (7) Good night (2309) Bad night (763)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (916): I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly. http://tfl.nu/j9zm
  Replies (2) Good night (1130) Bad night (615)
• Favorite

  (867): View more from Yukon/N.W.Territory

  We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (867): We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom. http://tfl.nu/l33f
  Replies (4) Good night (1022) Bad night (533)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (817): Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window." http://tfl.nu/43ug
  Replies (10) Good night (2100) Bad night (585)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things http://tfl.nu/rkjt
  Replies (5) Good night (955) Bad night (457)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (304): Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved? http://tfl.nu/lfe1
  Replies (2) Good night (564) Bad night (402)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (208): I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too? http://tfl.nu/54vl
  Replies (2) Good night (566) Bad night (305)

Randomize