Texts From Last Night

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  (480): View more from Arizona

  Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.

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  (480): Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby. http://tfl.nu/ip7w
  Replies (12) Good night (5428) Bad night (1332)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course

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  (720): At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course http://tfl.nu/67cn
  Replies (25) Good night (5116) Bad night (1043)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard

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  (612): Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard http://tfl.nu/lrld
  Replies (9) Good night (1557) Bad night (3065)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.

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  (828): you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life. http://tfl.nu/zm5g
  Replies (12) Good night (7706) Bad night (956)
• Favorite

  (409): View more from Texas

  he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out

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  (409): he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out http://tfl.nu/o406
  Replies (5) Good night (1080) Bad night (2196)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas

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  (713): The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas http://tfl.nu/0bvq
  Replies (3) Good night (2559) Bad night (754)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again

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  (615): He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again http://tfl.nu/8kvi
  Replies (7) Good night (2062) Bad night (707)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  we need to find an occasion to wear tutus

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  (503): we need to find an occasion to wear tutus http://tfl.nu/4dk7
  Replies (17) Good night (1913) Bad night (588)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?

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  (914): Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion? http://tfl.nu/d942
  Replies (0) Good night (723) Bad night (630)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger

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  (248): I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger http://tfl.nu/4bsz
  Replies (8) Good night (547) Bad night (338)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.

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  (425): I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem. http://tfl.nu/tmma
  Replies (2) Good night (214) Bad night (564)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?

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  (618): Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher? http://tfl.nu/1k5x
  Replies (3) Good night (310) Bad night (329)
• Favorite

  (320): View more from Minnesota

  An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.

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  (320): An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made. http://tfl.nu/7315
  Replies (6) Good night (546) Bad night (374)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."

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  (732): Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run." http://tfl.nu/l7f2
  Replies (0) Good night (559) Bad night (229)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.

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  (425): Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home. http://tfl.nu/vg5q
  Replies (0) Good night (229) Bad night (336)

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