Texts From Last Night

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  (734): View more from Michigan

  But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame

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  (734): But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame<div>(734): Superlame</div> http://tfl.nu/901l
  Replies (28) Good night (2088) Bad night (4996)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"

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  (773): Oh just a soda. I'm "driving" http://tfl.nu/spob
  Replies (4) Good night (842) Bad night (1024)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.

  (802): View more from Vermont

  ...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.

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  (802): i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager. (802): ...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon. http://tfl.nu/jfhq
  Replies (28) Good night (637) Bad night (2028)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.

  (1-440): View more from Ohio

  you have got to be kidding?

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  (440): why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex. (1-440): you have got to be kidding? http://tfl.nu/stk6
  Replies (52) Good night (661) Bad night (4468)
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  (818): View more from California

  what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?

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  (818): what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand? http://tfl.nu/e114
  Replies (47) Good night (5604) Bad night (705)
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  (626): View more from California

  she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song

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  (626): she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song http://tfl.nu/tlf6
  Replies (35) Good night (1574) Bad night (4325)
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  (516): View more from New York

  I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"

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  (516): I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs" http://tfl.nu/07qw
  Replies (18) Good night (6529) Bad night (1167)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country

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  (651): I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country http://tfl.nu/ju5o
  Replies (9) Good night (5292) Bad night (888)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.

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  (309): Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me. http://tfl.nu/c51e
  Replies (7) Good night (1080) Bad night (2175)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".

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  (780): just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency". http://tfl.nu/5vs5
  Replies (7) Good night (3172) Bad night (691)
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  (289): View more from Ontario

  The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.

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  (289): The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am. http://tfl.nu/r9i0
  Replies (7) Good night (1505) Bad night (815)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.

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  (231): I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking. http://tfl.nu/yxdj
  Replies (5) Good night (1558) Bad night (704)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.

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  (202): He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message. http://tfl.nu/bw67
  Replies (10) Good night (1647) Bad night (939)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out

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  (814): Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out http://tfl.nu/2z13
  Replies (2) Good night (338) Bad night (685)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.

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  (708): So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch. http://tfl.nu/utw7
  Replies (0) Good night (526) Bad night (289)

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